So I REALLY hate myself?

You might not know it now but everything hard you go through now is knowledge to help you be more prepared to do these same things that come along in the future. You will see how school is now and I guarantee you work won't be much different except its more fun/ fulfilling. Just make sure you find a job you like doing. I hated school, dropped out, skateboarded everyday all day & bounced around at crap jobs. Then got into warehouse/ distribution and moved up from the bottom and been in it for 15 years. School and those people I don't even talk to/ think about. You will see that in the next 2-4 years ..... school will be a vast memory. If you made poor choices.... so what if you continue to make the same poor choices ask yourself why your not learning from your mistakes. Its OK and good to make mistakes and fail cause that's how we learn. Its when we don't learn from mistakes and continue to make poor choices that's a problem. But even in the work place, a good company will want you to take chances and learn from the outcome and this is so true in your daily life. Also I still skateboard/ snowboard Never stopped doing what I loved even though when I was younger and in school everyone told me it was a waste/ useless but it taught me so much but I didn't realize it till I was 2-3 years out of school. We all learn everyday.... even I continue to learn and change and make progress everyday. Just push on through/ do what's fun to you & ignore all idiots. If your looking for respect then I think you already know what it takes to be trusted again and this takes time and consistency. Be positive and make smarter choices on a daily basis. That's how you earn trust back.