I have to write a story targeted a teens do you like this so far? is it appropriate?

I think it's appropriate and I really like it, well done :) It's very emotive and imaginative, and it's well written. However, just a personal opinion. I don't think the opening line "I remember it quite vividly" really captures the readers attention. It doesn't give me the impression that she can actually remember what happened. Could you possibly use a different word instead of "quite", or maybe skip the word "quite" altogether, such as "I remember it vividly; rising levels of water crushing my fragile body..." It's only a minor suggestion though.